Thursday night was so fun! We took a little break and had “Family Night.” We went to downtown New Orleans. We ate at some cool restaurant that had the cutest band of little old men. Everyone was two stepping, and doing old school dances. Faithie Wood was the cutest little thing she was so funny. After we ate we took the longest way possible to Café Du Monde. Caleb, Nicholas, Papu (Nick Bukis, a.k.a. Tigger Pa), Rachel and I all sat down together and split two orders of Beignets. They were so good! I loved it! I met a few people one guy named Tyrell who is moving to Fort Worth in August, random? I think not. Another lady that owned a store, that had been having a rough day and had been working for 13 hours and just needed some rest. Another man who heard me singing “Awesome,” started singing the song with me and talked to us. I love nights like that when it’s just about people. Those are my favorite, getting to tell people that He is enough and He can be enough for them.
Speaking of enough. This was such a hard week for me. I was so excited to come on this trip and spend time with everyone working and ministering. It ended up being a situation where I spent more time with the sweet ladies from the church, which was fun and definitely good, but not what I expected. And there’s the big “E” word, why do I always do that? I have an expectation of what I think something is going to be like and the Lord has something in mind. I asked the Lord to give me a new and fresh sense of my need for Him; that I would learn to rely on Him in an even deeper way. What in the world was I thinking praying for that? Talk about feeling wrecked and overwhelmed! But oh how good of a God we serve to answer our prayers!
I'm not going to lie, I felt like I was just a second away from losing it and blowing up on any and everyone in my sight. I was so stressed out. There were so many things to do before the Block Party, and I am horrible at doing stuff like that. I sent my prayer partners messages asking them to pray specifically for my attitude and for my heart. I’ll be honest, I didn’t feel like I was submitting to the Lord’s teaching this week. I said a few things I shouldn’t have, and did some things I shouldn’t have. I had an attitude with pretty much everyone on the trip at some point or another and I felt like I was just awful to everyone. This morning when I woke up it just hit me. Duh! I need HIM! I can’t do any of it on my own and I tried to and tended to get so involved in the details of what we were doing that I forgot for a few moments what we were doing there.
I am so thankful that He is enough, and on top of that, He is loving, merciful, and gracious always. He is faithful! Always! I got in the shower after everyone went to bed last night, about 1:30 am and just bawled. Spending the first really and truly focused moment of Friday with the Lord. I was broken and on my face before Him admitting my fault and asking for forgiveness, and I am here to tell you if you don’t already know, as soon as you give it to Him, He says that it is as far as the east is from the west. He loves you and wants to walk with you through all times, good and bad. I am thankful for answered prayers from a loving and merciful God who cares for me today. Even when I don’t realize what I’m doing at the moment, He is faithful to bring it to mind and teach me. Becoming holy as He is holy, what a joy (though hard). God is so good all the time!